I trust in your word

"I trust in your word."
Psalm 119:42

The strength of our faith is in direct proportion to our level of belief that God will do exactly what He has promised. Faith has nothing to do with feelings, impressions, outward appearances, nor the probabability or improbability of an event. If we try to couple these things with faith, we are no longer resting on the Word of God, because faith is not dependent on them. Faith rests on the pure Word of God alone. And when we take Him at His Word, our hearts are at peace.
(Streams in the Desert)

     I am sitting in my sunroom looking at the gorgeous day outside and thinking about Jeremy and the kids at the park. Since it is the weekend following my treatment, it is difficult for me to do anything for the next several days. God has me listening to Him today, though, and for that I am thankful. My children are at peace and giggly today and I am so thrilled that life is "normal" for them right now (even though it is not anywhere near normal for Jeremy and I!).
    
     I read this passage this morning and it resonated deeply with me. I am struggling today with our storms of Jeremy's job loss, and my cancer diagnosis and course of treatment. I am desperate to see God's purpose in these situations. I spent some time sitting in a "pit" of our losses earlier today and began dwelling on the "Why's". Oh, how much easier is it to examine feelings and appearances than it is to explore God's promises for our lives. Right now I feel like God is calling us to transparency and testimony (not easy when one is feeling whiney!). And if this is the sole purpose of our trial, then that is worth it. I pray that God gives us the strength to carry out His plan with joy, faith, and perseverence.
    
    I look forward to one day looking back and seeing the path that God illuminated for us step by step. At the same time, I don't want to miss what God has for us in the present.The graciousness and kindness of the people around us, the strengthening of our marriage and family, and the reminder of God's love for our family surrounds us right now. Thank you for all of your prayers and support. Thank you for so many of you who have loved us so well through our season.

In this way, we will bear a worthy testimony to the world and thereby strengthen the lives of others. (Mueller)

I trust in your word.